Last Night

When my husband is away, I can be sure that what starts as me lying down alone in a big bed, becomes an artful human basket weave of arms, legs fingers and toes as the number of sleeping bodies multiplies by morning. Truthfully, I look forward to this. I like knowing that my little ones are tucked in around me safe and warm. I woke to the sound of one of the kids murmuring something in their sleep. It is sure that all children seem angelic as they sleep. As I lay there I was able to truly study their little faces; something you can't do so easily with the constant motion of their little bodies during the day. Each of them carried their own expression. Stinky Pete's face carried the subtle smile of a four year old satisfied with the completion of an adventurous and mischief filled day. Maddie's face was peaceful though her mouth seemed poised to finish the sentence that sleep had kept her from the night before. And Abi, my complex Abi, carried an expression of melancholy in her brow. It has been especially hard for her to be so far from her best friend this year. I wished I could take that sadness from her.

Each glance allowed me vivid replay of their individual journeys over the course of their young lives. I felt satisfied as I watched them take in deep, rhythmic breaths. I could convince myself that even for a moment, the spinning of the earth would slow and somehow buy me time to keep them this close forever. At least our hearts have the depth to hold these precious moments where our memories sometimes fail us. These are the shining moments in my life. I am truly grateful.

Yesterday

Today was one of those days. The kind where from the moment you awake, it feels like the day is waiting with a sweatband on ready to make you run faster and harder and longer than you want to. My kids are awake early, already asking for pancakes on a morning where pouring milk and cereal into bowls seemed reasonable yet somewhat ambitous. It is not a feeling of unhappiness, just that of being truly tired. I know I am blessed and watched over. I know I am doing the most important work EVER. As I stood over the sink, an image of my Grandma King popped into my mind. And when I think of her, I can't help but smile. She is one of the most amazing women I know. While Grandpa handled the responsibilities of a Ranch, Grandma cleaned, cared for her children, kept a large garden and cooked (not just for her family but several ranch hands) each day. She knows the art of sewing, quilting, frugality and resourcefulness. She is a teacher and always emphasized the importance of reading. Some of my most warm memories are of visiting with her. She is down to earth, straight forward, and kind. She always has a hug ready and a listening ear. Her home has always been one that I know I am welcome in and offers a neverending source of peace. So as I finished cleaning the kitchen, I felt grateful knowing stellar women who have gone before me. I felt new energy and an uplifted spirit.

Luckily, my children have a gift of silliness that can bless (ok and sometimes curse) at the perfect moment. I opened the fridge to find a bottle of Elmers glue and couldn't help laughing out loud. Life really is good.